After years of marriage, the anniversary cards start to blend together. The sappy poetry, the mushy quotes about eternal love, the cutesy cartoons of husband and wife figures holding hands while birds inexplicably chirp – it can all feel a bit…tired. If you’re looking to surprise your husband this year with something totally fresh and unexpected, why not ditch the typical sentimental mush and go for an outrageously rude anniversary card instead?
A Diverse Collection for Every Sense of Humour
That’s right, I’m talking about those delightfully crass, shockingly un-PC cards that will have him bursting out laughing the moment he opens the envelope. The kind of cards that make you question “Should I really be giving this?” only to cackle devilishly and think “Oh what the hell, he’ll love the fact that I have a totally sick sense of humor.”
The maverick card purveyors at Scribbler have made getting rude and raucously funny anniversary cards for him their specialty. They collaborate with the quirkiest, most anarchic designers around to create greeting cards that gleefully cross lines and shatter boundaries of good taste. As their website defiantly declares, “The Daily Mail hate them!” So you know you’re in for something delightfully inappropriate.
Let’s take a look at some of the cheeky anniversary gems awaiting your hapless husband:
The “Putting Up With Each Other’s Shit” Anniversary Card
This one pretty much sums up the first year of marriage, doesn’t it? Open it up and the message reads: “Congratulations on putting up with each other’s shit for a whole year.” Because really, isn’t that the greatest accomplishment of the first 12 months as newlyweds? You somehow managed not to get driven completely mad by your partner’s irritating little habits and bodily functions. Bravo!
The “At Least You’re Not Ugly” Anniversary Card
Here’s one to remind your husband how lucky he is to have landed such a stone cold fox like yourself. Their is a cute pink heart in the middle, while the inscription cheerfully declares: “No matter what life throws at you, at least you don’t have an ugly wife.” Sure, it’s a backhanded compliment that insults wives everywhere, but I’m sure the old ball and chain will get a kick out of its deliciously crass sentiment.
The “Loud Breathing” Anniversary Card
We all have that one little thing our partner does that drives us completely up the wall, don’t we? For me, it’s breathing loudly. I can’t stand it. If your husband is an obnoxiously loud breather too, you’ll both get a good laugh out of the card that states: “I still love you even though you breathe too loud.” That’ll learn him!
The “Love You Almost As Much As The Dog” Anniversary Card
Every pet owner knows the struggle of trying to divide your affection between your significant other and your fur baby. This card cheerfully acknowledges that no human could ever dethrone the supreme love you have for your precious pup. With bright colors and font, it proudly states: “I love you almost as much as I love the dog.” Hubby’s just going to have to accept second place in your heart and be ok with it.
The “Yay We Still Like Each Other” Anniversary Card
Let’s be honest, making it through another year of marriage without contemplating hurling yourself into traffic is an accomplishment in itself. Why not celebrate just barely tolerating your spouse with this cheeky card that reads “Yay! We still like each other!” Romance certainly isn’t dead, but it’s severely comatose.
Why Choose Scribbler?
If you’re over the typical lovey-dovey anniversary cards and you really want to make your husband laugh (or maybe even blush a bit), do yourself a favor and ditch the sappy Hallmark greetings. Surprise him instead with one of Scribbler’s rude, wildly inappropriate, and utterly hilarious anniversary cards for him. With designs ranging from outrageously crass to just plain silly, you’re sure to find the perfect one to make your husband’s special day.
What are you waiting for? Scribbler is offering same-day dispatch if you order by 2pm, and they’ll even throw in a free card if you buy three! Their eco-friendly cards are ready to give your other half a good cheeky chuckle. So go ahead and get delightfully rude – he’ll love that you’re celebrating your marriage with a total lack of sentimentality.
